Are we really amazed?

Wow, what a week. I was blessed with two days off and really needed it emotionally. Isn't it neat how God always knows exactly what we need and provides for us. Before I was born He knew that this day would come, the emotional state I would be in, the dilemnas I would face, and He promised to take care of me! We (I) often say that we are "amazed" at God's work and I am not suggesting that His grace and mercy isn't amazing. However, with that said, don't we expect that God can answer our prayers, lead us to calmer waters and greener pastures? When we pray don't we expect to hear God, see God, and feel His peace? Of course we do. Of course, we always want it instantly and never want to wait. This weekend was one of those experiences that reminded me to "let go and let God". Wow, that is easy to say when things are going good, isn't it? Well, I had to let go. I knew that my strength was so weak and I would never determine a solution on my own. I needed to turn it over to God, no matter how small it seems to some, although huge to me. I don't say that to boast at all but to remind myself, which I need to do daily, that I am so insufficient on my own. I need to let go and let God do his will. If you would have told me Thursday night that the following Wednesday things would slowly be working out I would have laughed at you through my sobbing. Since that dreadful day so many things have happened. Chloe is getting some one on one time with mom and dad. She is being given essentially a second chance to regain her self-confidence. I said to dad, quite seriously, "how do I know when it is God talking or my selfish nature trying to figure out the solution?" He chuckled and said, "well, you will know. Keep praying". I prayed and waited and tried to just be quiet and listen. I have to say it was almost immediate that God began revealing solutions to me.

I have had one estimate on the fence which was somewhat reasonable, I guess. The awesome thing though is last night my sister called and said that she was talking to her boyfriend and he offered to put up my fence. I got so excited because I immediately thought of the money I might save. Then I thought, "thank you God, thank you for putting Jim in my sisters life so that he could help me in this situation". I believe it with all my heart. I believe that God places everyone in a persons life for very specific reasons. Do we always know why? I don't think so, but I know there is a reason for it. So, I was excited. Jim called me and sounded very convincing that he could easily put up a fence. What a relief and answer to pray. After all, I did ask God to provide for me. I got in the bed all excited but then I began tossing and turning. My mind was racing and I was disturbed. I knew that I needed to sell the jeep, my beloved car that I have only had for one year. Dad has been on me from day one to sell but at the time financially I could afford it. Now that I have a car payment after 7 plus years I can't. SO, once again my dad is right and I am selfish. I decided last night that I must sell the car. after all for one person paying over 600 a month for cars and 100 for insurance is a bit absurd unless you are just plum rich and I hate to break it to myself but I don't quite qualify for that category! So, I made the call. Thank God for good friends. The guy I bought the car from agreed to let me put it on his lot to avoid me having people come to my house. I started getting anxious today thinking "oh no, I have two payments coming up this month" and because I am not getting my big check from work until novemeber and was told it would be Oct. I started freaking out. After all, both car taxes are due at the end of the month!!! I refuse to worry about this. I know that somehow God will provide the funds to cover all the payments. The doctor bills, the credit cards, the cable, the cars, the insurance, the taxes, you get the picture. So as I began to freak, which is my nature, I was once again reminded of one of my favorite verses, which happened to be on a card that my church had out for the taken. The card says, "don't worry about tomorrow, God is already there" ......for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you......

Just another reassurance that GOD is in control. Yes, I make dumb decisions with my money and have made bad decisions on purchases yet that is in my past. I have to fix my mistakes and then pray for guidance to change my habits. I am thankful for a second chance, although I think I have lost count but this is not the second chance, more like 2 billion chances. : )

Goodnight Chloe. Mommy loves you and misses you and YES I am praying for you my little dog.